"I should be 'there' by now, why is this taking so long?"
Here we are in March!
I think we're safely out of the woods now when it comes to endless reminders on social media about new years resolutions! I guess by now, it's assumed that we've either:
a) Smashed it.
b) Started, but given up somewhere between 2 Jan and 28th Feb.
c) Didn't even bother setting any.
Well, I'm not here to resurrect that conversation, (who am I to talk, I'm in the C camp) but where I'd like to shine the spotlight is those moments when we look at where we are in life, compare it to where we thought we'd be, and if the two don't match up, disappointment kicks in.
Do you know those moments?
It might be growing your business, starting a healthier lifestyle, or just trying to be less busy and more organised; when we see we're not 'on track', our first response is often to go into a superdrive 'Right! That's It' mode. Everything becomes a bit 'all or nothing' for a while with lots of forced determination, and we become consumed and very serious about the whole thing.
It might continue in that way for some time...
Until it doesn't.
Can you relate? I know I've been there many times myself!
Since then, I have learned something that has proven to be helpful to remember in those moments, and I thought it worth sharing with you too.
That's to say that disappointment happens when we are expecting this moment to be anything different from what it IS, right now.
That's not about accepting or settling for what is; of course, you can still be ambitious and follow your dreams. Rather, it's an alignment with where things actually are. When we calibrate ourselves to where we are, rather than get lost in the constant comparing where we are with where we want to be, immediately our minds begin to settle. It's about cultivating a willingness to work with the reality of the situation, not what we think it should be.
Why does this make sense? Because we are inherently built for reality. We are the best version of our selves in the present moment. Right here, right now - that's where we are most effective as human beings. When we hang out *here* there is no catching up to do, or making up for lost time, or racing against time. With a clearer mind, we are able to see what the next step is, and head there, just there.
...and did you know, you can go all the way like that?
Some of the issues I've coached people with during February:
- I want to stop being a shouty Dad to my children, and find a calmer way to respond when they fight and argue.
- I worry that I'm not doing a good job as a coach, which stops me from taking steps to build my coaching practice.
- I have some exciting ideas about what to do to start my business, but I'm too afraid to take the next step for fear of people saying no, or criticising me.
- I really want to get my website written, but every time I sit down to write it, I get 'writers' block'.
Can you relate to any of these issues? If so, you're certainly not alone. It's a very human thing to feel stuck in patterns of behaviour or habits. I love working with both men and women to help them find freedom from what's holding them back, so that life starts to feel easier (and even quite exciting).
If you'd like some private one to one coaching on something that's been preoccupying your mind for a while, I have a couple of spaces available at the moment, and able to take on one or two new clients. Go to my 1:1 coaching page for more information and to book in a free call with me to discuss. Or if you know of someone who may be interested in coaching, please do share this post with them.